Every sperm is sacred

Erzbischof Robert Zollitsch, Vorsitzender der Bischofskonferenz und damit Chef der deutschen Katholiken, macht sich Gedanken über die Sexualität zwischen jungen Leuten:

“Wenn ich mit jungen Leuten spreche, merke ich, dass es zunehmend als normal gilt, wenn man Sexualität mit vielen verschiedenen Partnern ausprobiert. Unsere Gesellschaft hat es nötig, sich neu darauf zu besinnen, dass Sexualität nicht Genussmittel ist, sondern ein Geschenk […] Man darf sich dieser gesellschaftlichen Entwicklung, die ich für gefährlich und falsch halte, nicht anschließen.”

Das klingt ein bißchen trocken. Wie wäre es mit einem Lied?

There are Jews in the world, there are Buddhists,
There are Hindus and Mormons and then,
There are those that follow Mohammed,
But I’ve never been one of them.

I’m a Roman Catholic, and have been since the day I was born,
And the one thing they say about Catholics,
Is they’ll take you as soon as you’re warm.

You don’t have to be a six-footer,
You don’t have to have a great brain,
You don’t have to have any clothes on -
You’re a Catholic the moment dad came.

Because …

Every sperm is sacred, every sperm is great,
If a sperm is wasted, God gets quite irate.

Every sperm is sacred, every sperm is great,
If a sperm is wasted, God gets quite irate.

Let the heathen spill theirs, on the dusty ground,
God shall make them pay for each sperm that can’t be found

Every sperm is wanted, every sperm is good,
Every sperm is needed in your neighbourhood.

Hindu, Taoist, Mormon,
Spill theirs just anywhere,
But God loves those who treat their
Semen with more care.

Every sperm is sacred, every sperm is great,
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite irate.

Every sperm is sacred,
Every sperm is good,
Every sperm is needed,
In your neighbourhood.

Every sperm is useful, every sperm is fine,
God needs everybody’s,
Mine
And mine
And mine

Let the Pagan spill theirs,
O’er mountain, hill and plain,
God shall strike them down for
Each sperm that’s spilt in vain.

Every sperm is sacred, every sperm is good,
Every sperm is needed in your neighbourhood.

Every sperm is sacred, every sperm is great,
If a sperm is wasted, God gets quite irate.

Monty Python wußten schon 1983, was uns Erzbischof Zollitsch im Jahr 2009 sagen wird.

Ungeküßt und unberührt:
Erzbischof Robert Zollitsch,
unser spiritueller Wegweiser
in die Welt der genußfreien Sexualität